should i tell her

hear2heart · Post time 10-7-2008 12:46 PM

apa kata ko cuba cari jalan untuk tunjukkan kat kawan ko perangai sebenar tunang dia tu.........kalau setakat bagitau jer.......aku rasa tak jalan

airine · Post time 10-7-2008 01:38 PM

kalau dia dah tau bf dia cam tu, biar jer la,
ko dah kias2 pun tak faham gak

cekman · Post time 10-7-2008 02:31 PM

apa masalah klau kaki bf dia macam kaki ppuan??

zanorba · Post time 10-7-2008 03:03 PM

Originally posted by sribayu at 10-7-2008 08:25 AM
ha ha ha... let me be ria....

1. mcm kuda ckp, i dah barai.
2. umor i dah banyak...kalau i tak kahwin dgn dia, i nak kahwin dgn siapa? bila?
3. dia hensem, gaji besar...i akan hidup senang kalau i kahwin dgn dia. tak kan ada masaalah duit.
4. mak i nak sangat i kahwin, i x boleh tangguh dah. I x nak mak i bersedih kalau i x jadi kahwin
5. i akan ubah dia.....dan dia akan berubah...tengok lah nanti

I agree on this...more like she involved too far wt the bf...nak patah balik mcm rugi, so proceed le mana yg patut!
Abt the bf kaki pprn ke kaki ape ke...kemudian citer, k...mayb ria fikir-- biar le kawin dulu, tengok nnt camne...x leh go on, cerai...so x nampak sgt le if dah barai pun...! If salah, ampun ye...
They deserve each other kot!

MamaCrystal · Post time 10-7-2008 04:08 PM

bagitau je la...
samada dia dah tau ke, belum ke, bgtau je...
bila dpt tau masa dah kawin (kalo jd kawin) nnt lg susah

lepas u bgtau.. dia nak terima ke tidak bf dia tu, terpulang le pd dia...
terima le risiko...

limauais · Post time 10-7-2008 05:37 PM

takkan nak tunggu dah kahwin baru tau?

baik tau sekarang....

annaKarenina · Post time 10-7-2008 06:27 PM

dear secret identity,

masalahnya....yg terang lagi bersuluh (she already knew..tunangan style buronan) vs terlajak perahu boleh diundur (tapi apa nak buat kalau dh koyak rabak)...
akan tetapi... menyesal dahulu pendapatan menyesal kemudian lepas anak dah berderet... dera budak2 je.. so pandai2lah anda....

if i were in yr shoes.. i bagitahu... up to her.. to decide...

secret_identity · Post time 11-7-2008 06:09 PM

hmm...thx 4 opinion yg pelbagai tu...
tgk la nnti..klu i ade ms n jumpe Ria secra privacy.. i will tell her...
lpas tu terpulang la padanya..nak proceed ke tak..

bab2 barai nih...i dun think Ria dah rabak..stakat ringan2 tu,,mebi la...
ms laki tu bgtau i yg dia dah main2 ngn ppuan..i asked him about Ria too..tp dia kate tak buat..
i duno la klu dia tipu i...

yg ringan2 tu i leh konfem coz Ria sendiri pernah bgtau..

singleside · Post time 11-7-2008 06:10 PM

Originally posted by mirsha at 10-7-2008 09:43 AM
Aku rasa Ria tau bf dia main ngan pompuan lain, tapi dia takmo trima realiti. Mesti dia byk makan ati, tapi sbb cintun punya pesal dia pejam sebelah mata. Skrg ni dia dalam denial stage. Dia ...

maybe la kot. ntah la. cadangan aku camgini andainya nkau ni bebetul kawan dia.

1. kasi tahu dia. macam ayat-ayat memaklumkan yang banyak dah dicadangkan. kasi tahu tanpa filter. jangan selindung. tapi jangan lak menambah-nambah pula. kalau dia tak nak dengar, nasib dia la. yang penting, anda cuba kasi tahu.

2. mungkin dia akan dengar, mungkin tidak. mungkin dia akan terima, maybe not. tapi yang penting dan utama, nkau dah jalankan kewajipan dan tanggung jawab nkau sebagai kawan. so tanggungjawab bab menasihat ni settle.

3. andainya dia repot nkau kat bf dia tu, bersedialah. kalau tak boleh bersedia, maybe pasal nkau ni bukannya kawan baik sangat dengan si Ria ni. kalau betul nkau kawan baik, topan ribut pun redah.

4. dan andainya Ria kawen jugak dengan boifren nanti, bersiaplah. ready la saputangan, credit henpon dan sewaktu dengannya bila Ria meroyang melolong melalak. kalau dia anggap nkau ni kawan baik dia, maka dia akan nangis kat nkau.

5. masa tu jangan la pulak ragu-ragu suh dia tinggalkan laki dia tu. sama ada dia nak ikut ke, tak nak ikut ke, dia punya pasal la jugak. iye la, kalau dah masuk bab cintun tegar macam kak ayang tu, pakai bomoh pun tak guna.

jadi, kenapa nkau kena kasik tahu kawan nkau Ria ni? seks rambang mengundang STD dan perkara2 yang sewaktu dengannya. kalau tak dapat AIDS, maybe HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, syplis, dan macam2 lagi lah. nanti kot terjangkit kat Ria, camana la pulak nkau nak jaga dia. bahaya wo.

maka, berani buat yang terbaik untuk kawan nkau tu. kawan kan?

~ 5 sen saya, sebab duit 1 sen dah tak de.

manakautau · Post time 12-7-2008 12:14 AM

Originally posted by kudajantan77 at 10-7-2008 08:15 AM
aku bet Ria dah barai ...

Hang berani buat pengakuan bersumpah jika dikehendaki pihak mahkamah syariah atas tuduhan ini? (Sekarang musim bersumpah Kan?)

blackmore · Post time 12-7-2008 12:37 AM

Originally posted by secret_identity at 10-7-2008 00:08
should i tell her?
i ade sorang kawan..a gurl...i nmkan dia Ria... dia nak tunang next month..
her bf is also my friend..the problem is bf dia kaki ppuan..
n i kno Ria mmg dah tahu pasal hbgn ...

...bilang jer lah...kalau dah cakap baik2 pon masih tak jalan...ko cakap jer camnie..."hoi!!...sengal!!...bf ko tu dah pernah main ngan nyah lah weiiii!!..."...pastu ko kasi dia penampar 20 kali...insyaallah dia akan sedar...

hanna1905 · Post time 12-7-2008 05:05 PM

idea yg bagus sekali..

botolplastik · Post time 12-7-2008 06:59 PM

bagitau je.. kalau aku org bagitau siap ada ngan bukti, aku caya.. kalo dia xnk terima, gasak dia lah. janji niat ko baik... utk kebahagiaan si ria tu.

Blues_guy · Post time 12-7-2008 10:58 PM

Salam Sdri identiti rahsia,

Let us recap on the available info and some of the suggestions / assumptions by some our forumer friends :

1. Your friend ni dah berkapel for 10 years tapi baru je nak bertunang next month
2. Dia tahu yang bf tu kaki pompuan, tapi you think she doesn't know about the sex part
3. Your friend takmo solat istikharah
4. Your friend dah ringan-ringan dgn bf dia (or is it possible dgn mamat lain juga? Part ni tak clear sangat...)
5. Kuda suggested that your friend ni has actually gone all the way
6. Possibility for the bf to change his ways after tying the knot

Ok, here's what I think :

Kalau dah berkapel sampai 10 tahun, kawan you ni dah tahu sangat perangai bf dia itu, even to the extent of him screwing other girls. So why is she still adamant on marrying the guy? This is where kuda's assumption becomes very appealing. She has already done it with her bf, hence she feels she can't marry anybody else. It has got to be him, and him only. Ini bukan lagi kes Cinta itu Buta, tapi kes dah terpaksa. That is why solat istikharah is no longer meaningful to her because she believes she has no other options.

At the same time, the guy is taking full advantage of the situation. He will continue to sleep with other women because he knows the gf is too scared to let him go. I doubt he'll change even after marrying her.

So, we now come back to your question, which is the topic of this thread. Should you tell her?

Firstly, I agree with misy's view (post #27). Whether you tell or not would depend on how close your friendship is with this girl.

Next, let us assume that you are very close. Close enough to know that if she suffers, you'll feel some of the pain too. In this case, I'd say YES, go ahead and tell her. She may not like what you have to say, heck she may even stop being your friend.... but to me, you've done the right thing. Take it from me, some people just want to learn things the hard way.

Having said all that, I doubt that by telling her would make her change her mind. Because she knows already. So it makes no difference, right?

Well, maybe no difference to your friend, but I think it is important to you. By telling her, it shows that you care. Only true friends are willing to taste the bitter with the sweet.

missmulan22 · Post time 13-7-2008 02:25 PM

Bro..jangan2 kawan u Ria tu pun dah tido2 dgn bf dia tu...that's whylah susah sangat and syg giler kan bf dia tu.....org dah dapat ni...susah nak berenggang.....syak wasangka je.........

Kalau boleh tulis je surat layang hantar kat family dia....kalau inform kat Ria pun...bukannya nak caya....dah buta kan.....tak de gunanya........kalau nak s.k kat Ria ok gok........U mesti selamatkan dia....kalau tak kesianle.........

secret_identity · Post time 14-7-2008 11:13 AM

i x jpa Ria lagi..sbb dia jauh..
neway ade ceta baru pasal si laki nih..

dia ada wat hbgn ngn sorang mmber i..erm...kawan Ria juga la...
da hampir 1 year....
msa i tau..terkejut juga la...
klu i ceta kat Ria nih mmg bergaduh besar la...

i da konfuse nih..takut pun ade nk bgtau...ish2...
kesian dekat Ria n budak ppuan tu juga la...
camner eh?

kudajantan77 · Post time 14-7-2008 11:15 AM

Originally posted by secret_identity at 14-7-2008 11:13 AM
i x jpa Ria lagi..sbb dia jauh..
neway ade ceta baru pasal si laki nih..

dia ada wat hbgn ngn sorang mmber i..erm...kawan Ria juga la...
da hampir 1 year....
msa i tau..terkejut juga la... ...

mana ko dpt sume citer nih .. jangan dengar cakap org jer .. nnti tk pasal2 ko kene cap kepochi hati busuk ..

secret_identity · Post time 14-7-2008 11:23 AM

laa...dari mulut dak ppuan tu la..
mebi sbb dia tensen kot...coz laki tu nak tunang da...

kudajantan77 · Post time 14-7-2008 11:33 AM

Originally posted by secret_identity at 14-7-2008 11:23 AM
laa...dari mulut dak ppuan tu la..
mebi sbb dia tensen kot...coz laki tu nak tunang da...

tu la .. mudah beno sedekah apam kat orang .. pastu tensen salahkan org yg makan apam tu .. salah diri sendiri tetap tknk ngaku .. suh die halalkan jer la apam yg terbagi tu ..